Ahhh, The good ol’ days…

Paul | Randomness | Thursday, December 4th, 2008

I’m meming – from my brother Chris

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, (even if we don’t speak often or ever) please post a comment with a COMPLETELY MADE UP AND FICTIONAL memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want – good or bad – BUT IT HAS TO BE FAKE.

When you’re finished, post this little paragraph in your blog and see what your friends come up with.

(This is also to see if anyone still reads this blog… I sure am curious.)

So Long and Thanks For All The Fish!!

Paul | Randomness | Wednesday, September 10th, 2008

Here we go!!

CERN starts up Hadron Collider

**UPDATE** – Looks like we’re gonna have to wait a while before D-Day.  Hope you didn’t quit your job and blow all your dough on pints of bitter at the local bar.

It planned to circulate the first beams 10th September 2008. First collisions at high energy are expected about a month later with the first results from the experiments soon after.

Freakin’ Eerie…

Paul | Randomness,Video | Monday, June 9th, 2008

But still damn cool.

You need to a flashplayer enabled browser to view this YouTube video

Mind Fuck Anyone?

Paul | Randomness | Sunday, June 8th, 2008

Ok, so I just got through watching Peter Joseph’s “Zeitgeist – The Movie” and I feel like my brain has just gotten a barbed wire enema.

This 2 hour documentary, split up into 3 parts, first covers the illusions that is what we call “Religion”, then moves onto the shady and not so easily explainable sides to 9/11 and lastly, if there is a “man behind the curtain pulling all the strings”, these guys are it.

Now, the one thing that I love about these kind of “Uncovering the Conspiracy” documentaries is that, even if you don’t swallow everything they’re throwing at you, at some point you stop to think, “is the version I learned any more credible???”

My thoughts at the moment brilliantly summed up by from Tom Robbins’ ‘Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas“:

Sarah Bernhardt was such a powerfully popular, awe-inspiring actress that when she toured in North America her performances invariably sold out, even though she spoke hardly a word of English. Whatever play she did, Shakespeare, Moliere, Marlowe, or whatever, she did in French, a language few nineteenth-century Americans could comprehend. Theatergoers were provided with librettos so that they might follow the action in English. Well, on at least a couple of occasions, ushers passed out the wrong libretto, a text for an entirely different drama than the one that was being staged. Yet from all reports, not once did a single soul [...] ever comment or complain. [...]

“We modern human beings are looking at life, trying to make some sense of it; observing a ‘reality’ that often seems to be unfolding in a foreign tongue – only we’ve all been issued the wrong librettos. For a text, we’re given the Bible. Or the Talmud or the Koran. We’re given Time Magazine and Reader’s Digest, daily papers, and the six-o-clock news; we’re given schoolbooks, sitcoms, and revisionist histories; we’re given psychological counseling, cults, workshops, advertisements, sales pitches, and authoritative pronouncements by pundits, sold-out scientists, political activists, and heads of state. Unfortunately, none of these translations bears more than a faint resemblance to what is transpiring in the true theater of existence, and most of them are dangerously misleading. We’re attempting to comprehend the spiraling intricacies of a magnificently complex tragicomedy with librettos that describe barroom melodramas or kindergarten skits. And when’s the last time you heard anyone bitch to the management?”

The libretto offered in this documentary differs greatly from the one we’re spoon fed on a daily basis, and for that reason it is fascinating. I don’t know if it’s 100% legit (in some cases, I truly hope not), but at least it’s got me thinking… which libretto can I best live by, or should I just ditch them all out the window?

But never do i want to be he who says, “Just tell me whatever, as long as I’ve got my comfy house, a big screen TV and a toaster oven.”

Give it a watch if you’ve got 2 spare hours. It really is a trip.

Zeitgeist – The Movie

Flashback…

Paul | Randomness,Shout-Outs | Wednesday, November 21st, 2007

I love waking up to an e-mail from my first student saying that they won’t be able to make it to call that morning. That’s consideration you can take home to meet Mom.

Speaking of Mom… (Happy Birthday)

With a free half hour window opening up in my morning, I decided to actually eat breakfast today. And as I’m scuffling out of the kitchen, cereal bowl in hand, a banana sitting in the fruit bowl waves to me and says ‘hello.’ (No, this isn’t the flashback part)

(This is…) And I was snapped back to the homeland, where sliced bananas atop a bed of not yet soggy cereals was one my mom’s specialties.

And so I grabbed the talking banana, and sliced him up over my Kellogg’s. And it was Mmm, Mmm, Good.

I needed this nice start to the day…

Doing the Pee Pee Dance…

Paul | Randomness | Wednesday, November 7th, 2007

I love living with three people; never lonely when you need company, and if you feel like being alone for a bit, you’ve always got your bedroom and/or the living room if it’s empty.

But EVERY FRICKIN’ time I need to pee, there seems to be someone in the bathroom either taking an afternoon shower or preening themselves…

I’m going to wet myself, I think…

The more I type, the more I distract myself…

oiHWRE;GOHARW;OGHA;GROHAR;OIHGOHIGAOSHoihsrg;
oihsaog;hjdsfgas;jg;JSgd;JS:SJG;jfds;;jds;j;sdjg;sjdfhg;ds
jfh;earohtwoahtwaetalsghnmcx
nb.dbldshgoieahrglsakjrnglksfnblkdsajfgieahrg;lnearlgknsaf;bo
ijdsoigrjwale;jalngflkjnva;lfdjvoaehrtuahrunesa;vndslfnvdsafngs
.fdnglnfdsgldshfngifdshg;oihero;ughars;gjnlksfdnv;fdshgiu;ordsh
;lgnsaknvbs;lfhvoiuear;htaewhn;jfashdivo;szhdaftkmnrsabkjcxznmv
nweoitu8943w76529837509273540236ywoetu09u435u
ewotiuwe0t9u32o5iuwe09u094w5ujiwpotu9w4u5i32ohtow
iehjgalahrfesqglahwo4elghwaoehwaoegf

Ok.. it’s free now…

Peas…

Small World…

Paul | Randomness,Shout-Outs | Monday, October 29th, 2007

In the last year and a half, I’ve taught hours upon hours of private classes to over 50 students who I have never met in real life. This is because I give a good chunk of my English classes over the telephone. Most people find this odd, but there is actually a rather high demand for this type of class. They say that a large percentage of comprehension is due to body language and not to the actual words coming out a person’s mouth. When talking over the phone, you take out body language out of the equation and any and all comprehension depends on those little floppy things hanging off the sides of your head.

Since it’s a bit more difficult to follow a book during these classes, most people choose to have conversation classes using articles I send them as a way to improve vocabulary and conversation skills. One great website (www.breakingnewsenglish.com) is a bountiful source of short and sweet articles that provide enough fodder to get me through each 30 minute lesson.

This week’s article resounded with me as it not only talks about the field in which I work, teaching English, but also, more specifically, about the company my brother Chris works for in Japan and all the hubbub surrounding the recent mess they’ve gotten themselves into. This should be a fun week’s worth of conversation.

Any points of interest you can add Chris?

Japan’s biggest English school in trouble

Nova Corporation, Japan’s largest English conversation school chain is in serious financial trouble. The company, which employs some 4,000 non-Japanese English teachers, was given court protection from creditors on October 26th. It has debts of around $357 million and has given up any efforts to try and clear them. Nova’s directors are hoping to find sponsors to keep the majority of its 900 schools operational. The company’s disgraced president is nowhere to be found. Nozomu Sahashi, 56, owns a 16 percent stake in the company but was fired on Thursday. The board accused him of financial wrongdoing, as he could not give an adequate explanation for his “opaque way of fund-raising and negotiating with potential business alliance partners.”

Nova’s collapse has angered thousands of teachers, many of whom have not been paid. A union representative, Katsuji Yamahara, expressed his concerns saying: “This is a serious development that could force many students, instructors and employees to suffer losses.” Some teachers now face eviction from their company-provided accommodation. There have even been cases of Nova deducting rent from teachers’ salaries and then not paying landlords. Teachers at the scandal-hit school went on strike last week to protest against the company’s malpractices. The final nail in the coffin for Nova seems to have been a discovery that its advertising lied to potential students about its services. Nationwide ads claimed students could take lessons any time they wanted, which proved to be untrue.

Could Be a Good Thing, Could Be a Bad Thing…

Paul | Randomness | Monday, August 13th, 2007

Maybe you’re familiar with the Chinese proverb about ‘Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing’

There was once an old Chinese farmer who owned a small piece of land far off in the countryside on which he worked the land and spent his days with his wife and son. He owned only a single horse, which he used to help work the fields and bring in the harvest. One day, the horse ran away.

Upon relaying the news of his loss the other countryside dwellers, they all exclaimed, “What bad luck. What a terrible thing to happen.”

To which the old farmer replied, “Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.”

A week later, the horse wandered back to the farm, but with 5 wild horses it had met in the forest travelling with him.

Upon relaying the news of this unexpected acquisition to the countryside dwellers, they all exclaimed, “What wonderful luck! Not a better thing could happen to a man!”

To which the old farmer replied, “Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.”

Later that week, he 18-year-old son was spending the afternoon breaking the wild horses when one of them threw him off its back and severely broke the son’s leg.

Upon relaying the news of this to the countryside dwellers, they all exclaimed, “What bad luck!! I knew those wild beasts were no good!!!”

To which the old farmer replied, “Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing.”

As the son convalesced, his broken bones slowly mending themselves back together, a battalion of troops from the Red Army came sweeping through the land on the way to a bloody war, picking up any able-bodied young man to fight with them.

Of course, they passed by the young farmer’s son with the recently snapped femur.

And, of course, upon relaying this news to the countryside dwellers, they all exclaimed, “Jumping Jehoshaphat! What luck!!!”

To which the old farmer replied, “Could be a good thing, …”

You get the idea. Well, working of Friday and Saturday at my bar = bad thing…

It’s not that it’s an incredibly busy night, maybe a few handfuls more stumbling in and out at any given moment. It’s the fact that we close early that makes it bad. I know; a terrible, terrible thing. The reason being, is, unlike New York City, Madrid’s monolithic subway system doesn’t run 24/7. So if you have plans on getting home between 1:30AM and 6:00AM, you’re on your own.

But they do have a series of infrequent night buses that will take you more or less where you need to be. I cannot stress more heavily on the, “more or less.”

Why? Because night buses also = bad thing.

The closest this bus gets to my apartment is on the elbow of the route that has a 15 minute long walk to either of the closest stops. So, on my first weekend at the job, when I had my first two experiences on the night bus, I found myself walking an additional 15-20 minutes after getting off the bus on which I had spent an initial 20 minutes. 40 minutes isn’t that bad a commute, but when you’ve been running around a bar for the past 8 hours, you don’t want a short hike between you and your bed.

Therefore, on this past Friday night, I wasn’t too thrilled about taking the night bus home after work.

So, I’m sitting at the bus stop. It’s 5:15AM. I wait awhile… The bus comes… I get on – it’s me, an older guy probably going to work, and two groups of mid-twenties Spanish guys coming home from a night out.

I’m sitting there, keeping to myself and listening to my music, when something struck me as odd. Somewhere around the time when the bus neglected to take a right turn that I knew went up to the next stop on the line.

Something struck the rest of the bus as odd when he started to go in the absolute opposite direction of the direction we should be more or less going. The driver pulled over, realizing he’d gone way off and then pulled a flawless 7 point turn across a 5 lane one way street that would have been the shortest possible route back to where we should go if it weren’t for all of the headlights of the waiting cars that spanned the road, whose operators were enjoying the front row spectacle of something they’d surely be talking about around the coffee machine come Monday morning.

After a few jeers from the back row, the bus driver started a dazzling 15 point turn back the way we came as one of the groups of guys headed up to direct this guy back on course, the others staying behind to taunt the driver in sing song.

The two guys up front assuringly yet imperatively ordered the bus driver to turn here and turn there, looking back and snickering at their friends as the bus driver sullied forth. At one point we found ourselves so off course that the older gentleman passenger went up to take control of the situation, confident that the young whippersnappers were directing the bus to drop them off in front of their apartment.

They insisted that they were on course and that although the older man’s idea of ‘getting there’ was good, theirs was actually faster. After they cleared up the confusion and making peace, a silence passed over the bus as the bus waited patiently at a red light.

I looked over to see the elbow of route that nuzzled itself so close to my apartment. So, I popped myself up front, politely asked if he wouldn’t mind letting me off here and bustled off the bus thanking him kindly; a spring in my step as I hopped down off the bus’s step.

3 minutes later found myself safe and sound at home.

Conclusion: Working on a Friday and taking the bus driven by the over tired and highly confused bus driver = a good thing.

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